Chocolate
by CidySmiley
Summary: In Which Tony is a Matchmaker, Steve falls in love, and Dax debates the difference between love and chocolate. Short daily updates. Rating subject to change.
1. Chapter 1

"**There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate." **

― **Linda Grayson**

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><p>Tony was drunk.<p>

And not just drunk. Piss drunk, wasted, pale faced, slobbering on your dress shirt wasted. Stumbling down a dark high way in the middle of nowhere wasted.

Talking to himself wasted.

"Stupid Pepper … Stupid wedding. Stupid woods… don't know where I am." He lost the battery in his phone a few miles back but he kept stumbling forward.

Knowing that no one was looking for him. Knowing that Pepper was enjoying her wedding reception, her husband and her cutting the cake, the golden tea lights illuminating their smiling faces.

Tony stopped to dry heave.

He looked at his dead phone again. No JARVIS. No Pepper. No Happy. No one.

He thought about turning back, even in his deeply inebriated state he realized there was no easy way out of this situation.

Headlights beamed behind him. He stumbled onto the side of the road out of the grass and stuck his thumb in the air. The car, and old clunker whose engine was louder than thunder stopped a few feet away.

The vehicle flashed its headlights and he yanked up his trousers and got into the car. What he now recognized to be a Ford Taurus, early model. A woman was in the driver seat. He stepped on some clutter on the floor board getting in and they shared an awkward moment of silence.

"You okay, sir?" She asked. He nodded.

"Just drunk." Honesty is the best policy.

She laughed. "Where ya headed?"

He shrugged. "Closest city. I need a hotel."

She started down the high way again and he observed her in his peripheral. Her hair was piled up in a clip, unruly curls, her cheeks were round and red in the light of the car, She was in a long sleeved polka dotted dress with a sweater over it.

His attention was caught on a penguin charm dangling from her mirror.

"What are you doing way out here?" She asked. She had a slight accent.

"Came from a wedding." He answered honestly.

She surprised him with a rowdy laugh. "That swanky thing? I was catering there!" She said. He almost expected her to slap her knee with her heart felt giggles.

"You thought it was swanky?" He asked.

"Yeah… anyone who goes out of the way to have their wedding in the country but covers all the trees in gold tensil and drinks out of Mason jars with swarvoski crystals in the bottom … swanky." She said.

"you own a catering company?"

She snorted.

"Nah, I worked the chocolate table. I'm the chocolate lady. The store I worked at catered." She clarified.

They drove in silence some more. Tony fixated his gaze out the window at the town that thriving a few miles in. Bars with motorcycles park outside, packed Diners and teenagers in the street.

When she looked over, he was drooling against the window.

It was the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

**I do not own anything Marvel related or otherwise. **

**R&R **

**Expect daily (maybe twice a day) reviews. **


	2. Chapter 2: Milk

"**Without pain, how could we know joy?' This is an old argument in the field of thinking about suffering and its stupidity and lack of sophistication could be plumbed for centuries but suffice it to say that the existence of broccoli does not, in any way, affect the taste of chocolate." **

― **John Green, The Fault in Our Stars**

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Tony awoke to the sound of a fire alarm. His brain, which felt like it was being squeezed between a soccer players thighs, pounded at the shrill alarm and he scrambled to his feet, more sober than he'd been all year.

He realized his feet were bare when they hit rough carpet.

He followed the noise blindly.

What he found would be burned into his brain until they day he died.

He found his Taurus driving savior, only recognizing her from the tufts of thick curly hair escaping her clip, she was on a small circular table, in her underwear and a grey sleep top, frantically waving a towel at the smoke detector. Her kitchen was a mess. Batter all over the counters, a sugar spill in the corner and a coffee machine that was definitely on its last leg spurting coffee all over the floor.

A small dog yipped under the table and Tony stood slack jawed. Soon, the alarm died off and she scoot off the table.

He tried not to stare, but blurt, "Your underwear Is striped."

She lifted the shirt a half an inch and observed, "Yes they are. They are my newest pair." At that she turned back to the breakfast she must have been doing before the alarm went off. A smoking pan was in the sink that smelled faintly of bacon.

"I can never make bacon right. Are you doing okay? You had an emotional night."

His eyebrow rose. He took a seat at the table, noting that he was only in a pair of Hawkeye decorated underwear and his button down.

They matched.

"What do you mean?"

She flushed, "You don't remember?"

He shook his head. She turned and checked the water in the kettle on the stove and began to dig around in a pig jar. He noticed a tattoo on the back of her thigh, it was a pumpkin. He couldn't help but delve into his ways, eyeing her body. She wasn't in the modernly accepted 'hours glass' figure. More like a pear. Her shoulders were slender, barely supporting her full breasts. Her stomach was gently rounded, her thighs were full but toned. And she slimmed into toned ankles and small, tattooed feet.

She had the body of a sixties house wife.

The kettle whistled and she fixed one cup of tea and one cup of coffee that was so sweetened it looked like chocolate milk. She handed him the cup of tea, "This should help your hangover."

He looked around her apartment, mixed matched things, pastel blue kitchen utensils.

She scooped something onto his plate and he looked at it. It was an avocado with an egg baked inside, and two pieces of French toast.

He waited expectantly for her to explain his emotional night.

"Well, I took you home when you fell asleep in the car. You wouldn't wake up no matter how many times I swerved and banged your head into the window." His eye brows rose into his hairline. "So when I got you home, I started to undress you and make you drink water and then you started crying, saying you missed Pepper, and that you didn't think Clark was right for her. But that you supported her. Then you said you were ' too much of a lazy bastard to run your own company alone' and then you proceeded to blow your nose in the pillow case and fall asleep." She said.

He sipped the tea, feeling his headache already beginning to abate. He wondered briefly, if she was a magician.

"Are you going to be okay?"

He blinked.

She blinked.

He drank his tea, and then offered, "You need a job?"

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**I own nothing. **

**R&R**

**Thank you for your time. **


	3. Chapter 3: Dark

**Strength is the capacity to break a Hershey bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces." **

― **Judith Viorst, Love & Guilt & The Meaning Of Life, Etc**

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TOPBIRD NEWS PRESENTS:

_Breaking News on Stark Industries CEO Tony Stark! _

_This Saturday Stark attended his ex-girlfriend, and ex-Personal Assistants wedding to Clark McBride. An Oil Mining CEO._

_Stark and Potts split in early January, Potts marrying McBride April First. The break up appeared to be the creation of Mrs. Potts. _

_Sources say that Mr. Stark had Potts step down because she was marrying. _

_Stark Industries recently posted a new opening for the position of Tony Stark's personal assistant as he takes the stand as the CEO once again. Women and Men were lining up down the street that following Monday. _

_But it appears the position has been filled!_

_Tuesday morning Tony Stark arrived back in New York with his new assistant in tow. Sources present that her name is Daxton Grey, a chocolatier from Kansas. The two apparently met at Pott's wedding and he stayed with her his duration in Kansas. The public are already speculating about their relationship. _

_The two were seen stepping into Stark's limo, Grey, wearing a bright yellow dress, houndstooth luggage and a big smile. _

_It appears that Virginia Potts, now retired, is vacationing for her honeymoon in Florida. Her only comment on her split from Stark Industries was that:_

"_My position in Stark will never be forgotten, I love the company with my whole heart. But it was time to move on." _

_There are now openings for the position of Ms. Grey's secretary, stylist, and interior designer. _

_More news on this later. _

_Follow up at for more! _

Steve dropped the magazine back into it's slot and shifted his basket around in his hands. He glared at the elderly woman in front of him who was haggling to checker with a never ending pile of coupons.

This was the fifteen items or less isle and she had at least 22!

He shook his head and tried to find that ingrained Army patience.

He was making one of his last meals in peace. He would be joining the rest of the Avengers at Stark Tower on Sunday. And that meant the end of his peace, with Tony around he wouldn't get anything done.

But maybe with this new assistant of his he would mellow out. He knew Tony had a rough time when he and Pepper split. He spent two days inebriated and another two trashing New York. But then it mellowed out.

He honestly liked Pepper, he though she was a good edition to Tony, who kept him buckled into his pants. For the last few months he was running amuck, smearing up Avengers practices (They hadn't had a mission yet, nothing big enough to drag all the Avengers out) missing meetings and tanking some of his projects.

Fury had to step in when a large robot was set loose in Shield headquarters.

Steve loaded his items up on the belt. He looked up at the candy in the racks waiting for the woman to finish writing her check, and was shocked to find condoms there.

He blushed and looked around, those were things that one should only be able to buy at the pharmacy! Not within the eyes of children. A teenage girl was behind him in line with her mother, texting on her brainwash device he fought he urge to cover her eyes, or at least plead with her mother too.

"Sir, do you have a plus card?"

He blushed realizing that his eyes had locked on the condoms and he'd missed all his items being scanned.

He quickly paid and escaped the store, before driving off he whipped out his list of things to google, and added: "_Condoms in the Grocery Store." _

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**I own Nothing Marvel related. **

**R&R**

**See ya tomorrow. **


	4. Chapter 4:Lemon

**Your hand and your mouth agreed many years ago that, as far as chocolate is concerned, there is no need to involve your brain." **

― **Dave Barry**

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IT wasn't like he was always looking at her underwear, but that's usually where his eyes went first. He was lying flat on the bed and she was jumping on it. Her short, cat print dress, flying up around her.

"Lemons today?"

She stopped jumping and looked down at him.

"What?"

"Lemons on your underwear." He stated.

"Oh yeah." She continued her jumping and he closed his eyes and tried to relax.

"Not this one." He rolled off the bed and they moved to the next one. People in BEDMART were looking at them like they were crazy but those were stares that they relished in.

Tony rolled onto the bed and Dax got the tape measurer and measured the width of the bed. And then got on and began to jump.

A brave sales man edged to them, nervously flinging a pen around in his hands, "Excuse me ma'am? You can't jump on those…"

Daxton stopped jumping and looked at the man, she glared down at him and pointed at Tony.

"Do you know who he is?"

"No.. Ma'am.."

"This is Tony Stark. Unless you want Bedmart to become Starkmart… leave me alone. This is scientific research." Tony peeked an eye at the pale associate who turned and stiffly walked away.

"Saying your name is like saying he-who-shall-not-be-named. I'm going to start throwing it around more often." She said. She stopped jumping and looked down at him.

"Tell me again why we're doing this?" She wiped a bit of sweat from her brow.

"I know that big red and Hawkeye are dirty dancing under the sheets. But they wont admit it. I'm going to stick a motion detector in their mattresses and when they start rocking hard enough well… I'll get the data, have the evidence, and a bit of blackmail."

Tony and Dax were in the process of finishing the rooms of the rest of the Avengers, who would be moving in a few days time.

"So… you're spying on your teammates? Don't you trust them?" They scoot off the bed and made their way over to the checkout counter. They both whipped on sunglasses and Dax wound her arm through his.

"It's not about trust, Doll." Tony had been calling her that since the morning they met.

"It's about me having the one up on the mates. By the way we did get the dense mattress for Thor right? I'm pretty sure he's about six hundred pounds." She nodded and began to sign the paperwork for the beds as Tony fiddled with a flower lamp. She slapped his hand away when began to bend the petals.

"Sushi?" He asked a moment later.

"Yes Please."

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**I do not own anything Marvel related. **

**Thanks for the thoughts!**


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